Updated: Jan 20, 2020
So I have come to realize after rereading my previous blogs there are some gaps and missing information in my story line. I think this blog will help to fill in those missing pieces and get the sequence of events lined up. This will basically take the concepts that I wrote about in my previous blogs and show you how they specifically played a part in my personal story.
In “A prelude” – I told you that currently I was working at a resort in the Turks and Caicos Islands. A beautiful paradise just North of the Dominican Republic and Haiti in the Atlantic Ocean.
In “seeds from the gods” I wrote about the influencers in my past that helped me overcome my fears to make a life changing decision and follow my dreams. This was all about how a decision starts and builds in your thoughts first before it manifests in your physical world. It’s also great fun to look back at the chain of events in your life, and the seemingly unimportant things that played an important role in where you are today.
“The Big Risk part I & II” was about identify limitations, fears and the expectancy that we always have time. The leap is the choice to leave scarcity mindset and to start manifesting your dreams.
My dream was to travel. To see more of the world. I felt like an incomplete person. Like there was a hidden part of me wandering around somewhere on the globe waiting to be found. There was potential to be a whole person by the end of my lifetime, and there were opportunities that couldn’t be foreseen from my current vantage point. From the time I was young I was fascinated by people from other countries, with languages, with music and dance and art from elsewhere. A few opportunities to travel or study abroad presented itself to me, but I somehow managed to turn down those opportunities based on the people I wanted to please in my life at the time. Time marches on…I graduate, I move out on my own to a brand new city, student loans need to be repaid, I take on 3 jobs and if vacations existed I didn’t have the funds for them. I grew older, dropped down to just 2 jobs but kept a fierce work ethic, grew in my personal and professional development, took 2 small vacations in 6 years (didn’t leave the country), found passion in teaching along with self-confidence and gratitude for the people and things I had accumulated in my life. I tried to stay on this nice little trajectory. Until one day at my dance studio’s annual summer “Luau party” I realized as I pulled my clothing out of the closet that I had more beach clothes than anything else. What was alarming was that I didn’t go to the beach. There were no beaches in Iowa. I had brightly colored dresses with Hawaiian flowers, swimsuits for days, beach cover ups…things you just couldn’t wear in Iowa because everyone (a majority) dresses in a certain mundane way (sorry Iowa) and you would get stares and questions and weird comments if you did. And for some reason these beautiful clothes were accumulating and never living to see a beach. And then I realized that “I” was never living to see a beach. Old desires that had never really left had been manifesting themselves in my closet of all places. I started questioning if my life and career was ever going to be rewarding enough to give me what I desired the most. To travel and experience more.
The fork & hidden influences
I was standing at a fork. I was 28 at the time and growing concerned that I was doing this life thing backwards. You were supposed to do all your traveling right after college when you had the time and your youth and no responsibilities. Not when you are almost 30 and suppose to have steady life going and throwing away all the investments you’ve put into your life and career. And I got to tell you, as a woman, you are always thinking about time. I was not without the desire to one day have a family of my own.
Now, this is where my other blogs supplement my story. You can see that hidden influences that were impacting my mindset.
1. I had an idea or theory about the sequential events that were supposed to make up one’s life. Where did that come from? Was it true? These are the questions I had to ask myself.
2. I was scared. A change meant a lack of security and that I could be worse off. The smart and responsible thing to do was to keep doing what I was doing.
3. I feared putting others in a bad position and hurting their feelings to carry out my own desires.
4. I had become attached to my identity as a ballroom dance teacher and couldn’t comprehend a career as anything else.
5. I underestimated the skills I had developed in my life and career and their versatility to be applied to numerous other endeavors.
6. I feared that I could miss my window to one day have children of my own.
7. I was concerned that I would end up having to take a job that I didn’t like to meet ends meet.
Learning about myself and how to attract what I needed
These are a few of the things that I started to learn about myself as I stood at that fork figuring out what was important to me and what was I scared of. I spent months listening to new influencers and philosophers like Alan Watts who helped me deconstruct and reconstruct my thoughts. It was a very introspective time as I listened to how people around me spoke and I watched my own thoughts more closely. Sometimes I felt very alone. Feeling like I was the only one that saw things differently. I started to find a few others (besides youtube people) that I could find solace and inspiration. My chiropractor for example! Man I love her. I would tell her during my appointments how I would love to maybe make a change and do this work abroad program or try working on a cruise ship…but I was scared because I was almost 30 and it probably wasn’t a smart decision. She told me about her experience deciding to go to chiropractic school when she was 30. She said there was something so daunting about it- making a big career change so late in life. (it’s definitely not late in life, but how funny it is we think that) She was also so encouraging with my travel aspirations even turning me to the blogs of a female solo travel influencer that she had been following. Adventurous Kate’s blog became part of my growing inspiration bank. Once I found Kate it opened up a whole new set of doors. From her website I found numerous other people that were traveling and earning an income at the same time.
As I started talking more out loud about my ambitions a funny thing happened. I started to meet and grow relationships with people that shared similar perspectives. I attracted what I needed the most.
I didn’t have solution to my concerns yet. So, I started looking. I didn’t want to be irresponsible. I knew that I couldn’t just leave and travel with what I had in my savings so finding an income was crucial. I came across a few work abroad programs, but had concerns about the type of work I would be doing. I didn’t want to take a step back or not use my skill set, and I didn’t want to get placed with a job that I didn’t like just to be able to travel. It’s important that I enjoy my work.
I looked into working on a cruise ship. I figured with my dance background there were plenty of entertainment positions. The money certainly seemed good and I would definitely get to travel at the same time, but there were a few things that gave me pause. One of them being the fact that I had never been on a cruise ship and thought what if I’m just sea sick the whole time or my room is the size of a shoe box? Or? Or? Or?...I already had plenty of fears and concerns that needed addressing before I could throw myself into that lifestyle. I remember saying “If only there was something like this but land based.” Now, many of you reading might be saying “Duh. There are plenty of resorts like this.” But for someone like me that hadn’t really traveled I had no clue. Sometimes we feel stuck because we don’t know what options are out there for us. When people tell us to explore our options it doesn’t necessarily mean we know what those options are or where to look. The good thing now is that with our current age of information with the internet and social media it’s becoming much easier to find out what options are out there. We can reach out to people easily and get authentic feedback. I digress...
I had listed my resume on a few job search websites and literally the next day after I said “….if only there was something like this land based.” A job posting was emailed to me. It was a job with Club Mediterranean as a fitness instructor. As I read the job description the excitement flooded my body...
to be continued.
If YOU have a dream I encourage you to take sometime and try to write down all the things you feel are standing in your way. No matter how crazy, or little, or big they sound. You have an opportunity to learn so much about the way you think. Once you have identified all the hidden influences that are affecting your thoughts and actions only then do you have a choice. That choice is to continue with the same patterns of thought or develop a new one.
My advice. Go with the one that gets you what you want. The one that makes you stronger and wiser.
Until next time - stay adventurous my friends.
If you are interested in a great travel blog I recommend visiting Adventurous Kate.
And if you are really up for a good laugh- this is the blog that my chiropractor was practically in tears telling me about! You are going to laugh your butt off at Kate's Turkish bath experience :)