So my fantastic plan to downsize my life was evolving along nicely....
Now, I won’t go in to too much detail on how I broke the news to my boss that I would be leaving, but let’s just say that it was a struggle. I had a deep respect for my employers. For me they had taken family member status, as well as, the absolute most significant mentors in my life as a young adult. We had gone through the good, the bad and the ugly. They trained me, pushed me and well...put up with me when I was being difficult. Under them I had become a successful teacher, dancer and human. I will always feel forever in their debt. To have to go to them and tell them I would be leaving...was one of the hardest days of my life. I chickened out a few days in a row thinking also of all my students. A had a large student base that I had grown for many years. Some of my students there with me since the beginning. We were all a huge part of each other’s lives. How do I walk away from that? How do I explain why I’m doing it? That I felt a calling- An ambition to wander and walk-about? Well, you don‘t really. It’s hard to watch friends/family leave. When someone you care about goes- you feel your own loss. It’s difficult to be completely empathetic to the needs and desires of the person leaving.
So in the midst of building your own courage to go off you build a tolerance to the backlash. Instead of getting angry at the people that don’t have any thing good to say about your intended journey it’s good to realize that you most likely mean a lot to them, and they just don’t want to see you go. I had to break the news to all my students and clients. By the time I was through- I basically had to quit my job 50 times. Woof. I was feeling the pressure. Oh my god. I just quit my career that I had spent YEARS building. Holy shit what the hell am I doing?! There was basically no turning back. I was in too deep and had talked up this new potential job to everyone. As scared as I thought I was, all the right things kept happening. Like the universe had been pushing me to do this, and every step I took in the right direction it gave me a reward. A little candy trail if you will. Whatever road block presented itself, a solution quickly followed. I realized at some point that...I was pretty low on funds for this upcoming trip. And charity poured from the sky. Well actually from the hearts of friends, students, and family. Parting and thank you gifts filled my gas tank and made my heart overflow in gratitude. I felt more confident every day in my decision as I gained a new respect for myself and my ability to create whatever life I desired.
And then....disaster struck.
to be continued...