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They’re All Gonna Laugh at You

So, no good news from club Med, which also means no get-me-off-the-hook news for friends and family. ”I don’t know“ and “they still haven’t let me know” we’re simply not good enough answers to keep anyone from asking the same questions 12 hours later.

”Well have you emailed them?”

me- “uh yeah. I have.”

”well what do they say?”

me- “They say that the season is still too far off to know when they will have an opening.”

”Well is there someone else you can contact?”

me- “.....uh I don’t think so.“

”Well you should look into contacting someone else.”

me- “Yes..I’ll get right on that.” 😑

wash. Rinse. Repeat.

So I applied for a fitness instructor position at a nearby gym. A little pocket money, exercise, and social interaction outside of the house might do me well. Although, I wasn’t thrilled about taking any jobs only to have to quit in 1-2 months. Instead of the fitness department calling me the sales department intervened and said they would like me to come in and interview. Well, I had some trepidation about taking on a sales position. It was a competitive job, with a steep learning curve and multiple daily “dude meetings” and long hours. I felt miserable- this wasn’t the easy going part time work I needed to fill this work gap. I ended up quitting after 3 weeks.

One of my saving graces was my best friend. She had moved to Arizona a year prior. Having a friend to talk to, that had shared similar trials, and was there to show me around a new city and have a good time kept me from leaping off the proverbial bridge. We explored, and went on hiking and road trips. All which helped open that space I needed to reflect on the decisions and happenings of the previous months. Not only that, but it kept my spirit alive. I had only been gone a month and I was experiencing so many new things! This was what I came for after all. New perspectives and new adventures.

I spent more time with my grandparents and mom than I had in the last decade, and I came to realize the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Just a few years before she, herself, had made a decision to relocate from small town Iowa to a new life in Arizona. It wasn’t easy for her either. She had to leave behind a son whose relationship with her had only begun to mend, a grandson that she cared so much for, as well as, her own mom had moved back after years of living two states over. With the risk of hurting her family by leaving she went with her intuition in search of a better quality of life. It took courage to make that decision. I sometimes think of how we are all so connected to one another. Especially, a mother to her kids. Traumas, karma, personality traits are some of the many things that travel from person to person and generation to generation. Maybe my moms decision to care for herself caused some sort of ripple. A ripple that traveled to me and if I have kids will continue through them. When patterns are broken- there can be profound effects. I don’t know. Food for thought. I spent the next month hiking, exploring the city and taking road trips and doing a little house/dog sitting. The area was beginning to grow on me and I started to really enjoy hanging out with family and friends as often as I was.

October 5th I sent another email

Dear Club Med Lady,

Hope you are well. I know the next season is fast approaching so I’m just checking on the availability of the instructor position. Will you be contacting candidates soon since we are just a few weeks away from November 1st? Kind regards,


(the actual word for word email)

Hi Kelley,

Yes, we will be contacting candidates prior to the beginning of the month of November so hopefully within the next couple of weeks. We do have more open positions than candidates available so it’s difficult to find a position for everyone. [I believe that was worded incorrectly 🥴] I definitely have you on my list though and will make sure to recommend you as a candidate for hire to our HR Business Partners, again we cannot guarantee a position at this time.

Hope to be in touch with a position soon!



....I’m on a list!?....

....not enough positions?....

...I’ll recommend you...........cannot guarantee a position...


As I read the email my guts turned. Disappointment came and then transformed into rage and embarrassment. I BASICALLY left on a freaking parade! All my friends, family cheering as I sat on the main float with a crown on my head waving and gloating to the commoners as I passed by. GOODBYE BITCHES!!! My smug smile catching all their rays of jealousy as I wondered off into the sunset to my life of travel, adventure, beautiful people and tropical beaches.

...and it wasn’t even going to happen. I was a fool. I was a big dumb dreamer, and I threw away everything to chase something that didn’t exist. Everyone would get to see me crash and burn.

At this point I was so upset with Club Med I stopped myself several times from retaliating with a strongly worded email.

Do you know what I’ve done for this job!?!?

Maybe I was too old for the job? After all how could someone my age just up and leave for work like this? It was probably all college kids and I would feel out of place anyway. I spared them the email...and myself a burned bridge.

I turned my sights forward.

To be continued....

Well we are nearing the end everyone! In the next couple days the chapter will close, and you will have made it through my spirited journey and gained some insight into how one really goes about changing their whole life and manifesting their dreams. Well, at least my version. As you can’s not all rainbows and roses. There are many ups and downs and endless trials to go through, and if you have the resilience and take the time to look inward you can really reward yourself with the lessons that are gifted.

As I was looking through photos for this post I found this. A picture I kept in my phone. I read it constantly.

Some photos from my time in Arizona....

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