Updated: Feb 19
If you’ve been following along with my story for awhile now you’ll notice now we have definitely made it to the other side of the climax. Which is exactly how I felt after that road trip. Like a twister had taken me for a ride, picked up me and my belongings and PLOP dropped me in a new land. I was Dorothy standing in silence getting ready to push open that dusty old farmhouse front door and gaze upon a new land and beautiful new yellow brick road to follow.
Except, my yellow brick road, had an under construction sign on it. Its now mid August and Club Meds next season is set to start November 1st. I figured I have until the end of September and by then I should hear from them. You would think they would know well in advance who they are hiring and would give new employees advanced notice, right? (now after 4 years with Club Med it’s laughable how preposterous those expectations were)
I tried my best to relax into the feeling of not having to wake up and go to a job. I was 28 and had been both working and going to school since I was 16. And it wasn’t like I had managed to store away a very large financial cushion for this non-working void. On top of it when you move in with family they seem to want updates at least every other day on your situation. This does a great amount to compound your doubts and scarcity fears. I had been largely on my own, managing myself and well-being for a number of years and in a few possibly poor life choices I had managed to turn myself into a nearly 30 something piece of garbage, with no plan, leaching off of my poor mother doing her best to just survive herself. The story I was creating in my head caused a severe amount of anxiety on a daily basis that hardly allowed for any enjoyment of my “vacation” . The family and friends that had been putting on a good face started to show how finicky their encouragement and support actually was. Keep in mind that the world I come from is ready to crucify you for going more than a week without working. I was feeling pressure to make things happen, and at the same time I felt I had nothing left in me. The last 6 months I had been the god of destroying everything I built and after the road trip from hell as it’s glorious conclusion- I didn’t feel I had it in me to rebuild. Not yet.
I was exhausted.
I wanted to crawl into a room made of pillows and cocoon up for a few weeks. Then, I would emerge as a butterfly! I would have reflected and then morphed into the person I needed to be to walk down that yellow brick road. But life didn’t seem to be offering me any rooms made of pillows.
With all this pressure I felt it a good idea to not let club Med forget about me...emails were sent.
“Dear Club Med Lady,
Hello! Just sending a courtesy email to let you know I have made preparations...”
(interpretation*- I sold everything I own)
“....and I have relocated myself....”
(interpretation*-barely survived a move across the US to LIVE WITH MY MOTHER)
“....so I can be available in a moments notice..”
(*please don’t let me stay here long)
”....I‘m looking forward to this opportunity to offer my service to your company.”
(*please give me this opportunity before everyone laughs at me, and I’m forced to live with my mom long term- I just might die)
(*Shiva the destroyer)
Dear Ms. Kennon,
I have no openings at this time. We will be in touch if something opens up closer to season.
hmmm. Huh. That didn’t exactly calm the turmoil I was experiencing. And it gave me nothing to tell the family and friends that were now asking about my “situation” on a daily basis.
I decided that maybe getting a part time job would help ease life‘s discomforts in this wait period. How did I drive to work and get around you ask!? My big rolling turd returned from the dead! Yes, I was re-gifted with its service in its new zombie afterlife existence. I replaced a few belts- surrendered more survival money and my turd returned like a failed marriage where the couple is merely together for the sake of the children. It was awkward to see one another again after such high emotions and dramatic departure. We knew our remaining time together would be short lived and painful.
to be continued...